I recently had the pleasure of hosting my friend and sexologist Dr. Megan Stubbs during her stay in Los Angeles from Michigan, and in addition to some late-night vent sessions and introducing her to some wonderful TV Broad City and Master of None, to name a few , Megan took me under her wing and gave me a glimpse into her world of sex education, sex toys and, well, basically all things sex. I had never seen so many dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, or tasted so much lube in my life.
I met a bunch of different people in the industry who are devoted to creating a safe space for sex education and sparking conversations that are usually tagged as inappropriate. It was all very matter-of-fact. That was comforting. I was able to talk about female pleasure, male anatomy and sexual urges without feeling like I was being sinful or unladylike. I was able to be human and discuss, listen and learn about very human topics that just so happened to be centered around sex.
But my biggest revelation when it came to my degree of awareness on sexuality or lack thereof came when I attended a taping of the Sex Out Loud podcast at the Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood. Chris Donaghue, Kate Loree and Dr. Hernando Chaves, and touched on a wide range of topics, including sex positivity, conversion therapy, inclusion among non-majority people, and, most importantly in my opinion the unavoidable realization that the sex education offered to us is abysmal.
I remember my one-day sex education class in 8th grade. We got a paper bag that included deodorant, a pad and a condom. They preached abstinence, talked about STIs and everyone just tried not to feel awkward. I did end up taking a Human Sexuality class in college, which was much different, but even then, it was evident that society has conditioned us to feel very uncomfortable talking about the human body and about sex.
That is a huge problem. Not providing safe spaces to have this dialogue, or classes to offer expansive education on the topic, is irresponsible. Plain and simple. People are going to have sex. They should be able to ask questions and know everything they need to know about the topic, not just that they might get crabs or pregnant.
