The decor feels like Soho House meets House of Hackney β but with added humour. A lifesize tweed camel welcomes you into the restaurant; there are large birdcages with leather cushions hanging from the ceiling to swing in, a private cinema and, in the club downstairs, dancing on the chairs and tables is so actively encouraged that they have carpeted the banquette seating.
Gstaad glows with opulence, but Le Grand Bellevue somehow manages to stay well-heeled yet unstuffy. If you visit in winter, the ski rental in the basement opens directly into the James Bond-style underground car park so that you can be chauffeured to the slopes in style in minutes, but this place is just as appealing in summer when the hotel offers a range of outdoor activities from wild swimming in mountain lakes to heli-yoga and mountain biking.
Last year the spa reopened after a complete revamp and redecoration, and is a masterclass in chalet chic with exposed wood, dark grey walls and fur blankets. You could β and I did β spend hours in this spa. Nudity is encouraged but not essential. There are four saunas to choose from β my favourite was the hay sauna, scented with local grasses β but what really soothed my aching muscles was the salt inhalation grotto. I was less keen on the outdoor kneipp walk a pathway of stones to massage the feet and headed instead for the gentle foot baths that gave life back to my feet after a day in torturous ski boots.
There is a small outdoor pool surrounded by alpine plants in the courtyard, overlooked by the relaxation room, and a large indoor pool and Jacuzzi. The chalet-style wooden ceiling, sexy tones and mood lighting in the spa verge on the romantic β and you can book the Thermal Oasis as a couple, or small group, every night between 9 and 11pm.
I asked for a deep massage β and that is exactly what I got. My previously tight, overworked muscles were limber and jelly-like after my pummelling β in a very good way. Who goes? Rich, cool jet-setters of all ages. One guy had flown in from New York for the weekend. Forget being part of the 1 per cent β this must be what it feels like to be part of the 0. The atmosphere is luxurious yet playful β and as such, kids are welcome too.
