Posted February 1, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. My parents did it out of love. Also, the Bible says 'Spare the rod and spoil the child,' so I have to respect my parents and spank my kids. Many years ago, I was running a post- traumatic parenting class at a community center outpatient clinic. The participants were a diverse group of parents.
Some had been incentivized into the class by means of a program where parents could engage in activities that would earn them benefits. Others were referred by their schools. Some saw our fliers and signed up. It was an incredibly diverse group, and because of that diversity, there was a lot of openness and sharing.
Other parents immediately interjected:. It made me hate myself. I just never want that for my kids. Most of the parents in the group were happy to learn alternatives to spanking. Every parent had their own story of childhood trauma and wanted to parent differently than how they were parented. We learned about the language of behavior, attachment theory, and how to create a sense of safety and security. We learned about teaching kids how to understand their emotions, how to restore their body budgets, and how to use words to resolve conflict.
Slowly, the group cohered about one central philosophy : to parent in accordance with their values. This caused conflict in the group because everyone else was on a journey toward parenting without spanking.
People would say things like, "My kids are so much calmer since I stopped. At this point, I was getting curious: Why was Sarah coming back? And was there any validity to her viewpoint? Was she spanking out of love?
