Since moving to Germany in for love, I've been mostly satisfied. My German partner and I have been raising a child here, and our quality of life and affordable healthcare have been especially great. However, the road to finding my own joy in this country has been a bit bumpy. In a InterNations survey of over 12, expats, Germany was voted one of the countries expats hate to live in the most. Because of my mixed-Asian appearance, I've received many questions and comments I'd rather not deal with.
When asked where I'm from, saying I'm American" doesn't suffice. Almost immediately after, the follow-up question comes: "But where are your parents from?
This "dance" of questions has been a topic of national discourse , especially for Germans who are not perceived as "German. During these interactions, I miss the idea that anyone can be American without questioning it. In the US, I was rarely asked about my ethnic background except on official documents.
The complex German language is another humbling aspect of everyday living here. Nouns have three grammatical genders, and adjective declensions are challenging. It's frustrating that a sentence can go on and on until the verb comes at the end — it's literally an exercise in hanging onto every word in a conversation.
Try doing that at a party with loud music. Sadly, I'm also still stuck in my native English head, which doesn't delineate between a formal and informal "you," either. It's hard to know when to use formal "sie" or informal "du. In office environments or with older adults, it's safer to use the formal. I've bounced between both so many times with my doctors and kid's teachers that it's cringeworthy. As a non-native speaker, I usually get a free pass — if I mess up the formal and informal, it's acceptable.
