Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike.
Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo -- or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus -- you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading! Kinky Friedman is an author, musician, defender of strays, cigar smoker, and the governor of the heart of Texas.
I think that song needs more French horn. Is that tuna dolphin-safe? The tires on that truck are too big. There's no place in my home for obscenity! I believe the proper word is "African-American. I'll have the decaf latte, please. William Robert, you appall me. This red wine has a rather cheeky bouquet. I've got two cases of Perrier for the Super Bowl. Fried pig rinds are disgusting. You're watching football? Change the channel -- Oprah is on! Will you go ahead with a home birth if the baby arrives in Paris?
Duct tape won't fix that. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. We don't keep firearms in this house. You can't feed that to the dog. I thought Graceland was tacky. No kids in the back of the pickup; it's just not safe. Wrestling is not real. Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon.
It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness. Customers enjoy the humorous and insightful take on Texas life in this book. They describe it as a good, quick read that provides insights into the state's culture and language. Readers appreciate the unique characters and humor.
