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On the mound, he has the towering build of Randy Johnson. But this place has a way of cutting you down to size, even when you're alone in the dark. So tonight, as Rich twists his lanky frame to fit his flimsy mattress, he's reminded of a lesson he gleaned from the nearly 2, other nights that have come before: Nobody sleeps well in San Quentin.
It's not just his size 15 feet hanging over the bed frame or the pain in his throwing arm that won't go away. It's not the inmates down the hall retching from norovirus, hacking and coughing from "the San Quentin crud. Try as some might to blot out the harshest memories with drugs or violence or furtive sex, ecstasy is never as fleeting as it is when you're doing hard time, and the images always return.
Rich has learned to live with them. What he has trouble handling is how nothing ever changes. Rich knows that in the morning he will put on the same clothes. He will trace the same paths, from the lower yard to the upper yard and back. He will eat the same food; lying in the dark, he can rattle off the next two weeks' menus. In prison, the hands circle the clock, but the calendar page never seems to turn. The other day, Rich caught a glimpse of himself in the cell's small mirror and noticed that his hair had started to turn gray.
In the corner next to his tiny bed is a baseball glove. Rich lets his mind drift back to a time when a game held all his dreams. The subliminal flicker f the hallway's industrial fluorescent lights nds him of the VHF glow of the Game of the Weeks he once watched, sitting by himself as Curt Gowdy called plays.
Clear as a bell, he remembers the day he became a Yankees fan: April 28, , when his dad took him to a doubleheader at the Stadium and The Mick played first. Everyone said he should play basketball, but he wanted to pitch, even if it would be harder than dunking. For a while it wasn't. Rich struck out eight of the nine batters he faced at a tryout during his senior year and earned a scholarship to St. With the Johnnies he went to the College World Series in two of his four years.