When we think of babies, we tend to think of the joy they bring, their sweetness and beauty. Their faces cause our hearts to melt, their tiny feet and tiny hands just beg to be kissed. The word "innocent" usually comes to mind, and innocent they are of personal sin. But what must never be forgotten is that babies are born in a state lacking sanctifying grace -- a state we refer to as "original sin.
These effects make us prone to personal sin, to indulge the lower appetites, to selfishness. The baby, though perfectly innocent of personal sin, is not considering the needs of others, and when the baby grows, he is able to manifest his concupiscence in actual sins. It is this tendency toward sin that is natural to the human being and which must be dealt with carefully, with sound discipline.
To raise emotionally healthy children, parents need to be just, fair, reasonable, in control, bendable but not breakable, affectionate, honest, understanding, emotionally affirming by which is meant acknowledging the child's feelings and helping him to see, name, understand, and deal with them appropriately , and grounded firmly in Christ and in the knowledge of what ultimate pupose parenting serves -- to raise children to know, love, and serve God.
Consistency and unity between the parents in carrying out this goal are absolutely crucial, and before a couple marry, they should talk deeply with one another to determine how they will raise any children God blesses them with and to help ensure they can achieve the necessary consistency and unity in their lives as parents. They shouldn't be afraid, generally, to fight in front of the children as long as the fights are fair and not unreasonable, and as long as resolutions are come to.
In fact, trying to hide all disagreements fails to prepare children for the real world, in which disagreements are had all the time, and ways to resolve them need to be learned. But unity in discipline is extremely important. Don't allow your children to see you disagree about that. It seems that the children of those who want to be only their child's "buddy," who are permissive, and afraid of their children's disappointment, are constantly pushing against boundaries they can't see, trying to find one.
