But at least there were girls who liked sex, so I did learn the traditional script for getting consent for non-bdsm sex. A woman is supposed to give subtle, non-verbal signals of her interest in a man.
Things that seem obvious to her, that men hardly ever even notice. A man is allowed to show sexual interest more openly. If she frowns, freezes, calls someone else over, changes the subject to something dull, sighs, looks bored, turns away, then he should go away. But if he seems to be being smiled at, he can continue.
Eventually he can touch her hand, or her waist or shoulder, though avoiding areas of the body that are marked as sexual. When it seems natural, which might be a minute later but it might be days, he can try to kiss her.
Ah, the universal language of flowers. If any of those things happen he should say sorry and back away. If there are no signals either way, the man will probably pause, then move forward carefully. If he seems still to be getting smiles, then he can try for an open mouth kiss with his hand touching sexual areas: her ass, a breast. That also might happen seconds later, or days. From that point the woman can withdraw consent, but she has to be explicit about doing so. For a man to bow out at this stage, within this script, is nasty, hurtful and humiliating behavior.
These scripts are like dancing, because they allow creative variations, and some people can perform them gracefully while others are crap at them. The script maximizes opportunities for men and women to misunderstand each other and hurt each other. It seems designed to create misunderstanding. A woman or a man would plainly declare their interest and the other person would give them an honest and open response.
