Dating and relationships aren't easy to navigate. WH advisor and therapist Dr. Chloe is here to help, tackling your most confusing issues and burning Qs. So you've made it to the third date with the same person I don't mean that in a "you should be grateful they still like you" kind of wayβI mean, congrats to you for finding someone who you click with enough to see not once, not twice, but three separate and deliberate times.
That's not so easy these days, as you probably okay, definitely already know. That said, because of how rare the third date might be for some people, you might throw a lot of weight onto it. On one hand, you're more comfortable with this person than you were on the first date because, hi, you're no longer total strangers. But on the other hand, you're likely in your head more than usual. That's because society has, for whatever reason, led people to believe that the third date is the dateβas in, if it goes well, you're suddenly a legit couple, a.
But that's certainly not the case! Or at least, it shouldn't be. I generally tell my clients to continue seeing a potential partner for way more than three dates before they stop seeing other people. There's still so much you won't and can't know about each other by the end of the third date. It doesn't need to be such a big deal. The importance of the third date is really up to you, and it differs for everyone. Some women have a "three-date rule," where they wait until the third date to have sex.
I'm not saying I agree or disagree, but having a date-specific personal law like this might encourage you to put even more pressure behind the date itself , because now you're suddenly thinking about whether you're both on board for sex and if it might actually happen. Who needs that pressure? And for some people, the third date might feel like a tie-breaker, especially if either the first or second date weren't great. It's sorta like a "three strikes, you're out" thing, but opposite.
But regardless, the truth is, there's no magical timeline for when you'll know if someone is The One. Placing too much meaning to a particular date can cause you to either attach to someone too quickly or, on the flip side, give up on them too soon.
