Beam Me Up Softboi creator and journalist Iona David explores all the highs, horrors and heartbreaks of dating in the digital age in her upcoming book. The world of dating and casual sex is continuously evolving, but nothing has had a stronger impact on relationships than smartphone technology.
Although the internet and dating apps have made finding a partner comparable to online shopping — with an almost equivalent amount of options — in both cases the quality standard is not guaranteed. Featuring screenshots from real-life dating conversations, Is This Love or Dopamine? You then begin to discover the different tropes, from difficult to define, but easy to recognise artsy softbois think Kyle from Ladybird or your wannabe musician ex-boyfriend to the more traditional misogynistic fuckboys.
Eventually — we hope — you meet someone who seems alright, and let your guard down. You then proceed to sleep with them a few more times anyway before deleting the app, swear off dating, go on a self-improvement phase, embrace your pain, and then end up downloading the same god-forsaken app again. Iona has quite literally seen it all — from the comical to the concerning — in the messages she receives from followers sharing their dating faux pas. In fact, the book is not meant to be read as a How-To or a guide.
With Is This Love or Dopamine? It also provides a safe outlet and support system for us frustrated singles, something dating apps have failed to do. In fact, perhaps the account is so successful because the world needs more awareness of what we should and should not tolerate in any type of romantic situation.
Maybe the only way to preserve our hopes and sanity is by not taking dating seriously, at least until some people learn how to use common sense and be respectful, even if the likelihood seems small.
