By happyonmyown January 7, in Asexual Relationships. Interested to hear if any other members out there have gotten 'into' the BDSM scene as a part of their journey to recognising their asexuality.
I'm well known online and in real life, as being the 'asexual domme'. Heop pop a post on if you are- interested to make contact! Sure, we know of three or four others besides us who are 'into' BDSM on these forums -- there's been some discussion on the topic here , though. Yes, I'm a subbie that is asexual. I mostly enjoy the bondage aspect of BDSM. You could say that I have large collection of toys from steel collars to steel chastity belts. I like being uh, held down.
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For me, it helps me disconnect between physical stimulation I've a pretty strong sex drive most f the time and another person being involved. And that is good. But although there was a lot of curiosity on my part to know whether realising lifelong submissive fantasies would stimulate the sex-drive I'd always lacked in intimate situations in normal life, I'm sure it's something I would have needed to do anyway, even if I'd been completely happy and secure in a "vanilla" sex life.
By the way, it never had the half-hoped-for effect. But with at least one mistress who I served for over 3 years I did find total dream-fulfillment, and its a side of my life I'm thoroughly glad I got into. I would definately be a submissive. I would never admit that anywhere else but on here because I doubt most sexuals could understand the attraction of non-sexual BDSM. Those involved only perform BDSM acts in specific times and locations.
Thus it doesn't consume the entirety of one's lifestyle, nor does it have that potential. It is like going to a movie. You agree to it beforehand, you set aside a couple of hours for it, but when it's over, the acts and lifestyle are completely separated from what you do next, until another occasion comes along. BDSM only involves certain acts. An arbitrary act, say, doing suicide sprints for 5 minutes, would generally not be a part of BDSM.
