I used to have an incredibly adverse relationship to dating. Actually, I hated it. It felt like a constant aggravation rather than something positive to explore, in part because my body size has long been defined by my dating experiences.
But then I discovered travel dating. The more I date when I travel, the more I notice that the best ones happen when I'm far away from home, discovering a new city and a new side of myself. Either way, my dating anxieties fell away and I found the space I needed to focus on myself and meet up with a person who felt right for me.
I conquered my fear of eating in publicβa dread that has lived with me for most of my lifeβby eating an indulgent dessert in Paris. I let my body insecurities fade away by going swimming at a public pool in Austin , Texas. After all, I always turn to locals for the best food trucks, scenic views, or unique tchotchke stores, so why not extend the way I travel to dating?
Now, whenever I arrive in a new place, I adjust my location and radius on each of my dating apps to my hotel or AirBnB, and start looking for potential tour guides of the area. Then there was Adam from New Orleans , who took me to Gasa Gasa, a dreamy music venue uptown, and never made a reference to my body outside of the fact that he was very impressed that I could dance for hours in heels.
I was just seen as myself. Before I started travelingβand going on dates while I was travelingβI believed the aggressive dating app messages I received were what I deserved for being plus-size. It made me settle for less than I should have, like the time I met up with Dan, two miles away, who admitted in an opening line that he "had a thing for bigger women.
