Donna Freitas wants college students to get serious about good sex. But what she sees is a hookup culture that leaves students empty. Michael's College and is the author of several books. I spoke with her on the phone about why hookup culture is the only option on college campus and why the biggest losers are, surprisingly, young men.
Your book is titled The End of Sex , but college students you spoke to seem to have plenty of sex โ just not always in connection with meaningful relationships. What I never intended to say with that title is that sex is over, or anything like that. I was thinking of it as a provocative way to talk about the meaning or purpose of sex.
I have a background in philosophy of religion and gender studies, and when we talk of "ends," it's about ends in themselves, the purpose or meaning or "end" of something. Given current hookup culture, young people need to ask themselves: What does sex mean to me? They're living in the midst of hookup culture and struggling with it, but it doesn't seem to occur to them or anyone around them to ask questions about sex. For me, that's what that title is about. It's philosophical.
Why do you think campus hookups are something we should be concerned about? When my students are happy, empowered, feeling good about themselves, and their self-esteem is high, I don't worry.
When I see them depressed or ambivalent or second-guessing themselvesโthat sends a red flag. This is where I need to come in, sit and listen to them, and try to respond if I can. Even though most students will say they think a hookup can be good, the culture of hooking up is causing a lot of struggle and ambivalence, and that worries me.
