I've been married for 20 years — and I'm the long-suffering wife who's had enough of the suffering now. My husband has consistently been unfaithful to me over the past eight years.
I'm now asking whether there's a point to staying with him, especially as he has now moved into the spare room so we very rarely sleep together. I do wonder if my forgiving attitude has almost conditioned him into his repeatedly bad behaviour. His pattern is always the same: he meets someone on a chat line, or dating site, arranges to meet them, at some point sex occurs, and then when his object of desire starts to want more commitment, he moves on to the next one. My forgiveness is rooted in my strong faith.
I've made all the excuses for him —sad early life, mother who rejected him, sexual identity problems, poor self-image, ego that needs constant bolstering. However, I've come to the point of asking can he really change or more importantly does he want to? I think we've all met that needy person we feel we can help, and offer all our energy and effort into solving their problems — only to realise they revel in the attention their problems attract.
My Christian beliefs make me want to forgive and forget and to help my husband. I have so much to give yet I feel rejected, worthless and unloved. My friends tell me I'm attractive, sexy, intelligent and friendly and assure me that I will find someone who deserves my love.
It's so confusing as there are glimmers of hope in our relationship: treasured moments away from the worries and frustrations of family life we have three children most recently on a lovely long weekend in France. My question is really, how do I uphold my belief in my sacred marriage vows yet not live a lie?
