Hi⦠My daughter and her boyfriend first real boyfriend were dating for 2. The boyfriend is a year older and went to a junior college in town to wait for my daughter to graduate and choose a college. He then applied to same college and now goes there. My daughter lives in on campus housing and the boyfriend got a studio off campus 3 blocks away from dorm. It has been 4 days and my daughter already slept at his place.
I am glad she told me but I am a mess. I am having such a hard time and need some advice or tips on how to handle. But agree- not much you can do. Better to keep the lines of communication open than closed.
She did choose to stay at his place vs going to a house party with her roommates which I guess is a good thing since she chose not to party per se⦠but feel that she is picking safety vs meeting new friends. Good luck. The only thing you can do at all, IMHO, is perhaps encourage that she joins clubs or activities, without pushing that he not join the same thing.
Music, off campus trips, volunteer organizations, many colleges have hundreds of clubs. They will stay together or not. When my mom found out I was living with someone, she was relieved that I had someone to watch out for me on a campus of 20, students. I married my college live-in boyfriend and have thirty years with him and a bunch of kids that we started having almost 10 years after we started living together. It can work out. OP, I imagine you saw this coming, right?
Did you talk to her making sure that she forms friendships with people at school? I feel for you. This would really bother me. Kids have a way of digging in their heels when we disapprove⦠In my experience, the opposite approach has usually worked. Embrace the beau, make him feel welcome in your family⦠Say nothing negative about him or the situation.
