This is like watching 20 mini rom-coms all at once. No one would answer the door, so I dragged myself out of bed and answered the door in a nightgown and curlers hey, it was the early '80s, OK? He told me he was there to see my sister. He married me anyway. Thirty-eight years on the 21st.
She told him to grow up. Anyways, they've been married now for over 36 years. My roommate was complaining about her coworker Pam.
So I said, 'Who names their kid 'Pam' anyway? Fuck bitches named Pam. Anyways, we're married now. Our church was doing a fundraiser by planting potatoes that would then be sold to help with building costs. She agreed to go to the carnival with me but wasn't all that interested I can't blame her; year old me was a dweeb. She brought along her annoying girlfriend Rene to keep me from getting too fresh, which worked. I was determined to get Debby alone — not that I knew exactly why — so I took the girls on the Tip-Top ride.
Rene got sick, got off the ride, and puked. Debby and Rene used that as an excuse to split, and I never saw Debby again. I was immediately interested and began a much smoother conversation. We went out a couple of weeks later and went to a carnival. She took me on the Tip-Top and I puked. That girl was Rene; we were both three years older. And anyways, we're married now for 41 years. My great-grandmother felt bad and bought him lunch.
They were together for more than 75 years and lived a very happy life. I was eating bangers and mash and had the urge to cough. I tried to keep my mouth shut but just wound up spraying his face with gravy and mashed potatoes through my pursed lips. I was still coughing, so I took a sip of my drink to soothe my throat. It was beer. The bubbles tickled my throat more. I also spit that all over his face. He stared at me in disgusted horror as gravy, mashed potatoes, and beer dripped down his face onto his shirt.
